You are the reason I’m sharing my story.
I want you to understand that breast cancer is not a death sentence, but you need to take care of yourself. Obviously, for some they have not been so lucky and have unfortunately lost their battle, this can be a harrowing event for a family to go through and that is why looking into insurance policies during this time will be helpful for them so they can get prepared, which the CEO of Final Expense Direct Kim Wilhelm said is important for families to get that peace of mind. It is going to be a long road no matter which way it goes.
Of course, I didn’t know this when I got the call from my doctor. It was a Sunday afternoon and I was on my way to visit my parents, 18-month-old Daisy in the backseat.
“Are you driving?” she asked.
“Pull over.”
Then she told me the results of my biopsy confirmed I had cancer and that I’d need surgery.
I was dumbfounded. That’s IT. Seriously? I want my money back.
Prognosis?
Stage?
Size of the damn thing ?
She didn’t answer any of my questions and didn’t seem to care how traumatic the news was for me. Breast cancer meant certain death to me. What did I know?
I was livid. What had started as a routine mammogram (that I almost didn’t get) quickly spiraled down the nine circles of Hell.
I got dizzy, couldn’t think straight. I just couldn’t put logic over fear.
Then, surgery was a success, (minus the pandemic rash caused apparently by a violent allergy to surgical tape), but I had to have chemo. I didn’t want to lose my hair, because I didn’t want anyone knowing what I was going through and look at me like I’m already dead.
I got second opinions from FOUR other physicians before agreeing to the chemo and only because my favorite uncle was one of those four and he told me I have to.
Then, a beautiful Japanese lady name Yo chopped my hair off and ordered a Noriko wig (style name Reese, color Red Pepper) for me so I was prepared. My new cut were SO cute, that women stopped me at the supermarket, asking for my hairdresser’s number.
Later, when I wore the wig, no one thought it wasn’t my natural hair. Then I gained some confidence and felt compelled to share my story.
Breaking the silence, talking about it gave me strength and hopefully gave others strength. And, when my hair came back, it was fresh and beautiful.
For those of you interested in my details, here are my numbers:
Diagnosis
-BRCA1 & 2 negative, but I do have a mutation of unknown significance (cuz I’m special!)
-1.6cm grade 3 Invasive Ductal Carcinoma (IDC)
-no lymphovascular invasion
-no associated DCIS (English, please?)
-clear margins
-ER pos
-PR pos
-HER2 neg
-p53 score 0
-Ki67 score 26%
-Oncotype DX 28 (risk intermdediate, 18% recurrence, if I don’t do chemo)
-RSPC 28% (chance of metastases in the next 10 years, if I don’t do chemo)
Treatment
-Lumpectomy with sentinel node biopsy
-Chemotherapy, TC x 4 rounds
-Radiation, 6.5 weeks
-Tamoxifen, 10 years (Add Lexapro to help with hot flashes.)
I have no idea what half the acronyms stand for and no longer care. Neither should you. Don’t let the acronyms scare you. The fear of cancer shouldn’t keep you from getting checked. The fear of cancer shouldn’t scare you. Cancer doesn’t guarantee death. Live your life. Be happy.
Old Colette burned the midnight oil, scouring the pages of the internet for every bitty of information available on a subject, any subject (FOOD), trying to weed out the junk and find the authentic stuff. New Colette trusted her doctors and made peace with the entire regimen, even the chemo, which was the hardest part for me to accept. I did chemo with Mom & Shawn at my side, all four rounds.
It was my choice to take the driver’s seat again and that was all about attitude. My family relied on me and I couldn’t just be irresponsible. Breast cancer is more common than you think and highly curable. It’s a relief to know I’m not going to die. And, that I’m not alone.
The day I got my hair chopped off, Shawn was there, right next to me. I also picked up a very cute Noriko wig. I’ve always wanted to be a redhead.
Afterwards, he took me to lunch and when I got back to my desk at the office, he’d surprised me with a beautiful bouquet of fresh flowers. I hit the hubby jackpot!
May 30rd was a very special day for me as it will marked the last day of chemo. Radiation and Tamoxifen followed. Piece of cake! You know how much I love CAKE.
Now, you take care of yourself, because you are just like me. You are a daughter, a sister, a wife, a mother, a friend.
Wonderful people love you and need you in their lives. You made a commitment to them and therefore, to yourself.
All this happened 5 years ago. I don’t even think about it, except when I see my oncologist for a check-up. I hate going, I won’t lie about that. I hate being reminded of this whole thing, but I can’t let cancer define me. I’m a whole person, not just a patient.
Don’t let the fear of not knowing deny you the healthy, happy life you deserve. Schedule that mammogram NOW.
And, if you need a hand to hold, mine’s here for you.
My friend, you honestly scared me. Scared the hell out of me, I was waiting for the 'GOTCHA!' but I suppose cancer is not truly something to joke about! Thank god you are ok and it was successful but I like how positively you have taken this experience and are concentrating on so many beautiful things of the future!
Cheers and good luck!
CCU
It is not going to an easy path and I will have you in my prayer. You are a strong women with a positive attitude that I truly appreciate. Take good care and kick that cancer off my friend!
Keep smiling & being positive, Collette! Love, your east coast cousin. Christina Balian Antico
Cheers, Kankana! xo
Hey there, my East-Coast cuz! Thanks, girly girl. Great to hear fr ya! xo
Colette — this is such a beautiful, inspiring post. While I'm so sorry to hear this news, the words you've written radiate positive, healing energy. I have 3 breast cancer survivors in my family, including my mom — all of them powered through treatment with an attitude like yours. You will get through it and be well, I can tell. For your daughter, for you, and for everyone you love and who loves you. Sending you hugs and support. xo Valentina
Inspirational as always love you take care of yourself xxxxxxx
Thanks, Valentina. I'm happy to hear your mom's rockin' on and the rest of your relatives! xoxo
Love you, too, C!
Colette – You are a strong women with a positive attitude. It's not going to be easy but you will get through. Will keep you in my prayers.
Thank you for stopping by my blog so that I could discover you. Take care.
Thanks, Laili. Love your recipes. Cheers.
WOW!! What a powerful story, thanks so much for sharing. I am 43, what age should mammograms start?
Julie, you should assess your risk with your doctor and follow prevention standards:
http://www.cdc.gov/cancer/breast/basic_info/prevention.htm
So happy for you and so inspired by you too!You're one strong woman and so glad that the surgery was a success!!Praying for you and I'm sure you're going to kick that cancer off 🙂 Sending you lots of warm hugs!Take care!xoxo
Thanks, Soni love!
Colette – what a beautiful and brave post. Thank you for bing so honest and sharing something so personal. I know you will save lives. Stay healthy! ~ David
David, thanks – I'm hoping it'll encourage everyone to look after themselves.
You are a rock star. Way to kick cancer's butt. You should be so proud of yourself. I took care of my dad through his battle with lung cancer and I saw him go through complete hell. So my hat is off to you. It's so amazing when people such as yourself share such personal stories. It helps others going through it and gets those on the fence about testing off of it. And seriously lady, that wig rocks.
ps I'm glad you have a good support system, so important.
I was in the bath, when I got the call … your words took me straight back. This May will be my 5 year cancerversary, and I'll be thinking of you finishing chemo! 🙂 Thanks for your openness and honesty and take care xx
KimBee, thanks for understanding that I wasn't writing a sob story and just doing my own li'l activist campaign to get everyone going.
You know you made your dad so proud. Love your ra-ra-ra enthusiasm. xoxo
Congrats, Amanda! Thanks for the support. So glad you're doing great. LOVE your perf lab blog crab logo. xoxo
You are an inspiration. Here's to as smooth a treatment schedule as can be. hugs…
Thanks, Ani. Love your blog. xo
Wow, what an inspiration!! I came across your site while searching recipes. Your story caught my attention and my heart. You have such a strong and beautiful spirit and will! They found a lump in my own breast this past Nov. I have brushed it off as Fibro, but now, I am going ahead and making an appointment to make sure after reading your post. Thank you for the inspiration and I will be praying that this goes easy for you.By the way, your wig is so pretty and doesn't even look like a wig!!
Don't play doctor and get tat pesky lump checked out, girly.
Don't be afraid of the unknown. Take care of yourself! xoxo
Colette, I had no idea, and you are indeed a true inspiration to all of us! I am thinking about you and hope that all went (and will continue) to go well! What a truly courageous and absolutely wonderful person you are!
Hugs from afar,
Andrea
Andrea, you really are a doll.
It's been an overwhelming experience.
I just wanted to encourage other women to not be so afraid and get checked.
Thanks for being so sweet! oxo